Having trawled through the authoritative coverage of Tottenham's close season transfer plans, I can exclusively reveal the likely line up for the club's first game of the new season.
Every one of these players has been cited as a high priority for new boss Mauricio Pochettino, it's on the internet so it must be true.
Tim Krul
Marcello
Toby Aldlerweireld
Dejan Lovren
Ashley Cole
Adam Lalana
Eric Dier
Esteban Cambiasso
Memphis Depay
Romelu Lukaku
Wilfired Bony
No, I hadn't heard of all of them either.
I'm guessing Spurs may sign one, two at the most. Reading about transfer rumours is, without doubt, a total waste of time... if somehow compulsive.
It used to to be the Beautiful Game. Now it's all about snarling overpaid prima donnas on the pitch, managers who are going to be "sacked in the morning", billionaires who never saw a game before they bought the club and referees who picked up a whistle because they never got in the team when they were at school. I love the game but it drives me crazy. This blog is my way of getting all the frustrations off my chest and to see if there is anyone else out there who thinks football has gone nuts.
The author
Matt Carrell is the highly acclaimed author of three novels and several short stories. His latest book is A Matter of Life and Death, set in a fictional seaside town where the local team is struggling for Premier League survival. Please check out the links to his 5 star rated works on Amazon.
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